Why Do I Struggle To Communicate With My Partner

There are several reasons why it might be challenging to speak things as they indeed are. It can occasionally be caught up in a lot of emotions.

There might be better moments than this. You’ve both had a long day, and you wish they would have figured it out after all these years, which brings us back to the mind reading.

A healthy relationship is a crucial part of an intentional life. A healthy relationship requires deliberate communication.

Spend some time thinking about that. Why can talking to others be so tricky at times? One of the issues is that we place excessive value on understanding.

We are trying so hard to convey our point that we forget that one of the essential aspects of effective communication and a component of selfless love is the desire to understand.

There are many reasons for a lack of communication with a partner, and some reasons are explained below. 

Why Do I Struggle To Communicate With My Partner – 13 Proven Reasons

We will be outlining fifteen(13) proven reasons why you struggle to communicate with your partner.  They include:

1. Intimacy Issues, Such As Trust And Fear Of Rejection

Whether you are dating or married to someone, trust is the foundation of all we need.

From the most fundamental belief that our friends, spouses, and wives are being truthful with their partners to the most apparent idea that the bridge they commute across each day was appropriately built and won’t collapse into the river below.

The chances of a pair remaining happy together might ruin due to a lack of confidence in their relationship.

Nothing is more essential to our safety and fulfillment than trust. The relationships that are most likely to collapse are the ones where there is no trust.

A good connection is built on the foundations of transparency and trust. Communication failures can occur fast when they vanish. The secret to open communication in relationships continues to be complete transparency.

Lack of trust in a relationship opens the door for the possible growth of undesirable attitudes, behaviors, or feelings like mistrust and jealousy.

This can eventually develop into more serious issues like abuse on an emotional or physical level.

Couples need to develop trust for them to establish respect and effective communication. Often, the fear of rejection and mistrust impedes access to effective and efficient communication.

Partners should build intimacy through love and respect, which is an avenue to foster effective communication and trust.

2. Stress

Stress might make it easier for someone to get angry or annoyed, and individuals may find it challenging to select the appropriate words or tone when their emotions are intense. Alternatively, someone under stress can cut off communication and isolate themselves more.

Relationships can suffer in several ways from stress, which is also known as a feeling of emotional or physical tension. Couples may be influenced to communicate negatively, argue more, and have fewer and less fulfilling sexual encounters.

Relationships also contribute to stress. When one individual is under more stress, their spouse is also stressed, significantly because stress affects how we interact. Pressure may be managed jointly, just as both partners feel it.

Couples are advised to be more open, listen more, and support each other to make communication easier.

3. Misunderstanding

Multiple impediments exist in the communication process. The intended message is frequently interrupted and misinterpreted, which results in clarity and better communication.

Relationship conflict can happen for several reasons. Poor communication is one of the leading causes of “toxic” dysfunctional relationship, and a lack of communication may threaten a relationship’s continuation.

A communication breakdown often entails one of two situations: either both couples have stopped communicating totally about critical issues, or both spouses find it impossible to have a regular conversation without getting into an argument.

Even though many partners believe that communication techniques are not important enough to focus on, they are ultimately the only aspect of a relationship that matters for it to be healthy and joyful.

On this note, partners must find a way to understand themselves for effective communication. Misunderstandings are one of the significant reasons why partners need help communicating.

4. The Inability To Listen To Each Other

When emotions run high, everyone wants to express their opinions, leading to a situation where nobody is interested in talking about or finding a solution.

It signifies that one doesn’t believe the other person has anything essential to say and wants to convey their perspective when they frequently interrupt a discussion.

There is a distinction between passively waiting for your turn to speak and paying attention to what is being said. The goal of active listening is to show the other person that you desire to comprehend them.

To make sure you have fully grasped what you have heard, you do this by repeating it back to yourself. You can’t accomplish this if you’re preoccupied with your reply and waiting to speak.

To acquire an understanding and propose answers to issues, effective listening makes communication more straightforward and better for both parties. Lack of effective listening is enough reason why partners struggle to communicate with each other.

5. Conflicting Priorities, Schedules, or Expectations

Even though this technically falls under distraction, women are notoriously busy; thus, it merits its category.

They balance various jobs and obligations throughout the day, and out of necessity, they frequently develop into master multi-taskers.

However, that doesn’t necessarily portend well for effective communication. Giving your spouse your full attention requires stopping everything else and engaging in practical, focused conversation.

Standards are parameters for what you are willing to accept right now, and they stand for the qualities you seek in a partner: a sense of humor, shared morals and worldviews, disposition, and outlook on life.

Expectations will occur in the future, such as specific behaviors or events that we hope other people will do. When our expectations are not met, we experience disappointment, sadness, and sometimes even rage.

The strength of proximity or the tenet that we become like those we surround ourselves with is based on standards.

That’s because if individuals close to us uphold better standards, we’ll naturally do the same. We’ll have bigger aspirations, more effort, and more self-confidence.

Raising your standards is perfectly acceptable; mastering the ability to accept nothing less than the greatest is essential to creating the life of your dreams. 

However, expectations are often significant reasons couples struggle to communicate in relationships, and these expectations are what cause problems in partnerships.

6. Inability To Deal With Unspoken Expectations

Your entire relationship and the world will change once you learn to substitute appreciation for demands. Make it a point to appreciate your partner’s positive traits rather than concentrating on the negative.

Learning how to deal with unspoken expectations will help your relationship progress significantly. Even if they may not have folded the towels according to your preferences, they did try to do their fair share by putting the stuff away. And because you had a long day at work, perhaps they washed the dishes after supper or took the dog for a walk.

There is always something to appreciate if you pay attention. What was it about your partner that initially drew you to them? It wasn’t their prowess in folding towels.

It was their amiability, generosity, and joy of life. Unspoken expectations cause communication difficulties if you cannot deal with them.

7. Being Defensive

When people deny their defects, project their problems onto others, or employ judgmental communication strategies, they are defensive, resulting in ineffective and harmful communication in social relationships.

No matter where you go, you end up feeling isolated and as though you don’t belong with anyone. Your protective actions make you feel worse in the end.

Problems are never resolved; you constantly have to discuss the same issues. Your benevolence and compassion for others have waned over time.

Therefore, being defensive is similar to responding to any threat (criticism) you may sense. However, being overly protective in a relationship might impede communication.

Because when one party becomes defensive, the discussion becomes a battle with a winner and a loser.

So instead of accusing and pointing fingers at each other, taking responsibility for one’s actions should be adopted to foster effective communication.

Not taking responsibility for one’s actions is one of the reasons why partners struggle to communicate with themselves. 

8. Using Ineffective Comparisons With Others

A person’s self-esteem can rise or fall depending on how much attention they receive from others.

Comparisons can indeed impact the self-esteem of others. For instance, if the group succeeds more than the individual, the individual will feel less successful.

When we compare ourselves to others in our relationships, we may create a barrier that prevents us from seeing ourselves or another person.

In this way, it could be more challenging to connect with others. If, for instance, we compare our partner to someone else’s partner, we are deciding to view our partner through the lens of being insufficient.

9. Afraid Of Sharing Feelings 

Lack of emotional awareness or control, often known as emotional intelligence, is typically the cause of emotional communication difficulties. We can communicate more effectively in business and daily life if we have a more profound knowledge of our feelings.

Communication can be hampered by both positive and negative emotions, such as happiness and rage. For instance, when you’re overly delighted about something, you might consent to actions you shouldn’t or wouldn’t otherwise agree to.

Research demonstrates that partner relationships can suffer as a result of anxiety problems.

Because of a fear of closeness, one could withhold affection or put up barriers to emotional or sexual attachment.

Your partner might feel unwanted and unloved if they are unaware of this or don’t understand it.

10. Inability To Read Body Language

Body language is the nonverbal communication of meaning through gestures, expressions, and mannerisms.

People can reassure others and deepen their bonds through nonverbal behaviors. However, they can also lead to misunderstandings, arguments, or unrest.

Since I have come across people whose body language expresses something quite different from what they are saying or the opposite, understanding body language has always piqued my interest.

Nonverbal communication can affect our verbal communication because it can support, refute, and complete our message and support, replace, and support our assertion.

Body language usually comes naturally and is instinctual rather than conscious.

These nonverbal cues and signals can forge a solid connection with a person, heightening appreciation and comprehension.

A careless movement might mislead some people or send a different message than you intended. These non-verbal cues are also crucial for the various connections we make.

On these grounds, it is essential to remember that inability to read body language may lead to struggles in communication.

11. Lack Of Constructive Criticism Attitude

Couples should encourage constructive criticism when one partner makes a mistake rather than pointing fingers and finding fault. Yelling and abusive language prevent partners from communicating with one another in a relationship.

12. Validations

Invalidation frequently causes the victim to feel alone, worthless, confused, and inferior, as well as to emotionally distance themselves from others, engage in conflict and have their relationships strained. To achieve a better communication, couples are advised to validate one another; it helps build confidence in relationships.

13. Trauma From The Past That Needs To Be Addressed By A Professional

An external shock or trauma can drastically alter the dynamics of a relationship. A sudden traumatic event has the power to change someone. Trauma may also impact communication between a person and their spouse, family, and friends.

To achieve effective communication, it is advisable to seek the aid of an expert or a therapist who would suggest possible solutions to the problems.


Even when there a lack of or poor communication in a relationship, there are practical steps partners can start taking right away to strengthen their bond. Making the necessary and sustainable changes in communication in relationships frequently requires commitment and active participation.

Following this route will give both parties the assurance and hope they need to save their relationship.

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