9 Stages When to Give Up on Separation

Making or making decisions regarding your spouse or partner in a relationship or marriage can be very challenging and sometimes frustrating, especially when you have to figure out the Dos and Don’ts during that period, what to sort out when to give up, and get a life.

There are a thousand and one things to consider during that time of separation, as any decision taken at that moment will make a lasting impact on your life. Here are specifics to look out for During your time of separation or if you are considering a break.

9 Stages When To Give Up On Separation

There are a lot of stages to take when you want to give up on separation, some of these stages includes:

Holding on to something that has no sign of bearing fruits in the future for too long may lead to depression or anxiety, leaving us to question a lot of things. So is the case of separation, especially when we are trying to figure out our partner’s interest, whether they want to keep going or not, especially when there’s no verbal usage.

You have done the work, gotten the necessary advice, and sorted the above necessities, but things get more complicated and frustrating as the days go by; You keep trying to know why it needs to be fixed and what you should look out for.

Leaving you to ask yourself, should I just let go or keep fighting and holding on?

Here are nine stages to knowing when to give up and get a life;

1. Lack of Communication

When Communication with your partner does not interest you or the other any longer, or you see yourself avoiding any form of communication with your partner.

That says a lot about your feeling or that of your partner towards your relationship or marriage. As Communication is one of the love languages that strengthens the bond between a couple.

2. Love Interest

Your partner has another love interest without putting you or your feelings into consideration, or you see your feelings change towards your partner, not bothering if they go into a relationship with another.

That’s a push to move on, as they have found another person and may not want to fix things with you desiring to get a life with another.

3. Abuse

In cases of constant physical or mental abuse, if your partner shows no real sign of change, it’s necessary to end things and move on.

Being in such a relationship or trying to fix things with the other party can have detrimental consequences not just mentally but also physically.

4. Lack of Support

When there’s no emotional or financial support from the other party, and he breaches most of the decisions you both reached during the time you considered separation.

This shows how inconsiderate or less concerned they are about you and the present situation, as this may cause further complications in the future.

5. Lack Of Understanding

Misunderstanding does not resolve any issue. Then in the place of constant Misunderstanding or not coming to terms with each other, which in most cases leads to conflict or bearing of grudges, this will affect the a lot in the relationship as understanding is the beginning of a problem solved.

Let go if you or your partner do not understand each other from both perspectives and agree to have a standard agreement.

6. Gas-lighting

You have to move on when your partner refuses to acknowledge their wrong or go into an agreement to fix the relationship but rather manipulates you psychologically, putting you in a place of guilt and constant confusion, making you doubt yourself and making you try to point and fix the reason behind your separation is wrong.

7. No Resolving Interest

There’s no interest from both partners to fix their marriage, or you feel you are doing a lot to improve the relationship alone. And either both partners or the other party, or you are determined to end things.

8. Reason For The Separation

In most cases, the partner should move on if the reason behind the separation is due to dire matters relating to abuse or mental health and safety. As your life and that of your children if you come first.

9. No Success

If you’ve done all, you should make it work yet still have to succeed, or the other partner needs to be helping out to make it a good sign to let go.

Trying to keep a dead thing alive is not advisable because you are not only losing yourself but also losing your sanity and belief in how things should rightly be done.

After going through these stages and sorting out these things during your time of separation without any success or signs of your marriage being saved. It’s good to walk away and get a life.

What to sort out when separating

When considering separation, it is crucial to sort things out with your partner as it helps relieve pressure, anxiety, and uncertainty and gives you time to think about your relationship and make the right decision about the next step or the next level of your relationship with your partner. Here are essential things to consider;

Who Stays

Here you must communicate with your partner if you have decided to live separately during that period on who will stay back in the house and who will live, considering the children if you have one and some other necessities. In most cases, couples should only live in one place during separation.


You need to talk out the financial aspect with your partner, such as rent, the children’s upkeep debts that need to be settled, and in the case of a joint account, how it should be divided so as not to carry everything alone which might be burdensome and also to avoid any future struggles.


Certain rules should be put in place to avoid the other partner meddling with your life or privacy since you’ll need that moment to reflect on whether to go on or to let go.

Legal aid

Seeking legal aid, such as family lawyers or experts in the case of divorce, is very helpful as they are witnesses and backups in case things turn wrong. They also help direct the partners on what to do and not do during separation.


It is essential to talk about and with your children, and this may have an impact on them sometimes long-lasting impacts. You and your partner should decide who stays or goes with the kids. Make sure to let them know and also listen to their suggestions or pay attention to their actions.

What You Should Not Do When Separated

As the case may be, there are specific actions to avoid during your separation since the knowledge about how things may turn out with your partner in the future is unknown.


Avoid taking your relationship status to the public, especially during this time of separation, and avoid social attention, as this may drastically impact your decision. 

Sometimes what worsens the reason behind the separation are people outside your relationship; they give their explanation and advice from their understanding, causing and leading to added confusion since what works for others may or may not work for you.

The separation is a lone moment to figure things out with your partner, understand yourself more, and work together to know if the marriage can be fixed as you have not entirely detached from each other. Separation is not divorce.

Negative Talk

Refrain from speaking negatively about your partner to anyone, especially your children and others, due to temporal ill feelings.

Talking negatively about your partner, especially when they’re the opposite of what you’ve said, can make matters difficult when the tension is low, and you may want to fix things with them.

What you may have said against them will come knocking, and in the aspect of your children, it leaves a lasting trauma as this may be the opposite of what they know of them.

Having Another Relationship

During that moment, both partners should avoid having any romantic relationship with a 3rd party as that may be tagged as a rebound and will not help in your decision-making.

Rushing into another relationship during that period may bring up a lot of mixed feelings and may affect the decision you may take. Some may use that relationship to heal and, when they are calm, may regret their choices.


Don’t be quick to file for a divorce. Take your time to know if having a divorce will be necessary, not just because you feel it but because you have considered certain things like your children, mental health, abuse, interest, etc.

Rushing into a Divorce without proper consideration will distort many things personally and affect everyone involved in it.


Regarding separation, especially when we are attempting to determine our partner’s interest in continuing the relationship, holding on to something that shows no signs of bearing fruit in the future for an excessive amount of time can cause depression or anxiety and make us question many things.

It is better to analyze these signs critically to know whether you want to separate them.

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