15 Body language of unhappy married couples

Body language of unhappy married couples

With the high level of breakups and divorce in society that comes as a surprise to many, it leaves one to question if there are happy couples out there and if there are couples who have things going for them in their relationship.

Especially in a world where almost everything is on social media and most people tend to follow or imitate the lifestyle of most celebrities and even marriage couches and, in the end, end up disappointed with their break ups, separation, or divorce.

Yes, no one is perfect, but It leaves one to ask how we know an unhappy couple.

This question has led to lots of research by experts and individuals like the Gottman research team, who have taken over 30 years to develop proper and consistent body language that differentiates happy couples from unhappy couples.

Here are the obvious body languages of unhappily married couples.

15 Body Languages of Unhappy Married Couples.

There are a lot of body language of unhappy couples, some of them include:

1. No Forbearance

Both partners can’t tolerate each other’s excesses as long as it may be, no matter the time or circumstance in which it takes place.

In that state, you see them complaining, avoiding, or, in some cases, it causes a fight with one another at the slightest opportunity.

2. Secrecy

In marriage, your partner becomes your confidant, your best friend, or the only one who knows your secrets.

In marriages where the couples are unhappy, the reverse is the case; you prefer confiding in a third party than your spouse.

3. Lack of intimacy

No attachment, no attraction and no feelings toward each other. They don’t find each other sexually appealing or in any way attractive.

Both couples prefer gaining such attention outside than getting it from their partners. This leads to avoidance of each other.

4. Criticism

There is Constant Criticism from and about each other in every statement they make or give to each other regarding any issue or subject.

They make statements to spite the other, having no regard for the other’s feelings. Nothing they do or say is appreciated or admired.

5. No Time for Each other

They find it hard to spend time with each other. They have no joy being around or having a proper conversation with each other rather; they shove everything that concerns their partners under the carpet like they don’t exist.

Unhappy couples focus their time and attention on other things above their partners.


They go into defensive mode at the sound of any statement from their partner. Justifying every action and word, guilty or not, plays on their partner’s emotions and mind.

They don’t take responsibility for their wrongs and don’t see any reasons to make it right.


Because of the lack of attraction for each other, couples tend to avoid each other on every occasion.

We hear of couples choosing to stay in separate rooms, don’t get involved in whatever has to do with the other partner. Even in conversation, they say little or nothing about each other.

7.Thoughts of Separation

Separating from your partner and ending your marriage or relationship can be stressful and emotionally taxing for various reasons.

Relationship breakup feels fatal, which is precisely why it’s so challenging to deal with. Getting to the end of the road with your partner is not simple.

From there, if the separation is still permanent, you’ll have to deal with uncertainty about your future and possible problems with emotional intimacy in your subsequent relationships.

These are just a few of the intense feelings that result from the point of separation. Couples with unhappy marriages have more extensive accommodations in their mind for a divorce.

They always say or act in that direction in their action or communication, primarily when they derive joy from the outside.

8.Constant remembrance

Constant remembrance of hurts and unpleasant actions and words by or from the other partner.

In every statement or action, they will sometimes want revenge or if they forgive, the will not forget, thus leading to grudges and building up future problems.

9.Unpleasant compliments

You find them making unpleasant compliments about one another at the slightest provocation.

They hardly find something good to say about each other. Ever ready to say mean and hurtful things about your partner regardless of your feelings?

10. No sense of humor

They don’t find each other fun to be with. Both couples don’t see each other’s sense of humor appreciated.

With this, the marriage is boring and makes each other feel lonely or alone, making them seek happiness elsewhere.

11.Constant Misunderstanding

When one or both parties in a relationship refuse to comprehend something correctly, miscommunication results; therefore, when there is a lack of moral clarity, misconceptions happen because a false impression is produced.

Various factors can bring on misunderstandings, but the main one is typically a need for more transparency in understanding the circumstances.

Knowing the source is crucial if you want to understand why people misinterpret you.

There will be constant Misunderstanding between both couples as each one plays on the defensive and blames the other for their sadness.

No one will want to take responsibility if their wrong or agree that they are at fault, so with every opportunity they get, they fight.

12.Lack of interest

They show no interest or concern about whatever has to do with the other. They easily shove everything about them under the carpet.

Boredom knocks in each time they talk about their partner having little or nothing to say about them.

13. Easy irritations

Couples who are not happy together feel irritated being together; we see them spark up easily, make nasty comments or preferably stay away from each other.

Nothing about their partner gives them comfort; instead, it gives them the feeling of disgust.

14.Remembering of hurts

Issues between them can sometimes be forgiven but not forgotten. They will always remember the hurt they inflicted on one another.

They mention those issues whenever there’s a misunderstanding or when the other does something that irritates them, no matter how minor the problem or misunderstanding is—making them have the feeling to do a payback.

15. Finding Comfort Outside

They feel comfortable outside or far from their spouse. They prefer to stay out than stay under the same roof with their spouse.
They always prefer to confide in a 3rd party than have a chit-chat with their partner.

With all that being said, In every bad, there’s a good; in every unhappiness, there’s an antidote for it. Hope is not lost for any couple that wishes to have a happy marriage. There are a few tips to make it work, such as;

  • Going back to the beginning
  • Be kind and generous
  • Have a healthy communication
  • Spend time with each other
  • Take an interest in what they do
  • Learn to calmly resolve issues. etc

Life is always with the right strategy.

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