Signs Of Poor Communication In Marriage

What are the signs of poor communication in marriage? Questions troubling a lot of married people. This question affects those who are ready for marriage but are skeptical about it.

Communication is often thought of as exchanging information via talking, writing, or another medium. This is not precisely the case. Proper communication between both parties involves more than just talking and listening. It also involves understanding what each other is saying, empathizing, and accepting the other person’s point of view.

Poor communication occurs when there is a difference between what is said and what is heard. Proper communication makes all the difference in a relationship. If done right, it can help the couple feel more connected and resolve all problems they may face easily.

Signs Of Poor Communication In Marriage – 13 Shocking Signs

However, once poor communication takes root in a relationship, it leads to resentment and further conflict. Below are thirteen signs of poor communication in a relationship.

1. Excessive complaints

This occurs when a man, his wife, or both of them always have something to complain about in such a way that it leads to a downward negative spiral. It is okay for complaints to arise in a relationship from time to time.

Still, it becomes toxic when it becomes too much and moves from complaints about an issue to complaints about the other person’s personality. It shows that the mode of communication in the relationship needs to be fixed.

2. Defensiveness

When a party refuses to take responsibility for an action and chooses to blame the other, that person is just being defensive. It also involves refusing to look at an issue from the other person’s perspective. When one party mostly feels right, and the other is wrong, it is a sign that something is wrong.

3. Stonewalling

This is also called the silent treatment. Admittedly, some people don’t enjoy talking about their problems or show disapproval by keeping quiet. This is valid, but when the silence is prolonged or used to punish the other person, it becomes a problem.

4. Vulgar language

When arguments in a marriage are filled with vulgarity, it is a sign that the couple has problems communicating. Discussions are an avenue to sort out disagreements and find a mutually beneficial position.

However, when foul language is used, it makes the other party feel unwanted and could harm the relationship.

5. Cyclic Arguments

If you and your partner always seem to be fighting about the same issues, it is a sign of poor communication.

Arguments should be resolved, not repeated over time. The past should always remain in the past. It becomes a problem when you constantly remind your partner of their past shortcomings and refuse to move on.

6. Negative Body Language

It is not just our mouths that are used to communicate. Our bodies, especially our facial muscles, contribute to conversations. A person can say one thing while their body is saying something else.

People, including your partner, can tell when you are disinterested or unhappy when you claim to be. Telltale signs include eye rolling, smiles that do not reach the eyes, sniggering, crossed arms, etc.

5. Lack Of Tone Management

It is common knowledge that when a couple expresses happy feelings, communication is frequently made easier. It’s so crucial that it has the power to make or break a marriage. Hugs, smiles, and positive body language improve communication and increase affection for one another.

By setting a good tone, partners can feel more relaxed and at ease with one another, which also makes them more open-minded and eager to address one another’s concerns.

Lack of tone management includes yelling to get your point across or speaking disrespectfully. Even while arguing, couples who communicate properly do not yell or talk to the other person as if they were inferior.

As tempers arise and emotions flare, speaking normally may be difficult, but if you want to reap the benefits of proper communication, keep your voice down.

6. Dismissals

This happens when the couple hears the sound each other is making but doesn’t make an effort to understand the other person’s words and the implication of those words.

This is also when complaints, suggestions, and needs are ignored. It also happens when one person tries to talk and is consistently sidelined.

7. Hesitation

People in love indeed like talking to each other. When poor communication creeps in, the couple hesitates to share their goals and dreams or look to each other for support.

They no longer enjoy or look forward to speaking with each other. It can manifest in subtle ways, like refusing to discuss the details of your day with your partner.

8. Projections

When a partner puts their insecurities or unacceptable urges on the other person, they can be said to be projecting. Again, we all project from time to time. However, when it is excessive, it is a problem.

For instance, if you constantly ridicule your partner about his insecurities, you might be battling low self-esteem. Refrain from looking inward to impede your communication with your partner.

9. Passive aggression

With passive-aggressive behavior, the person finds sneaky ways to deal with issues instead of openly addressing them.

These moves may appear subtle, but they are not. It can include using sarcasm to pass a message, acting sullen or stubbornly instead of tackling the issue, or playing the victim.

10. Frequent interruptions

It isn’t good when a couple cannot have a conversation without one person trying to talk more than the other person.

It occurs when one person is not allowing the other to make complete sentences. This behavior can be very annoying and implies that the other person’s opinions don’t matter.

11. Fighting For A Subjective Truth

There are three sides to every story-your side, the other person’s side, and the truth. When one party wants to stick to their side of the story without considering the other person, then it’s a problem.

In proper communication, the couple also looks at the event objectively and tries to talk about each other’s feelings. If you remain dogged with your views, you may be slowly ruining your marriage.

12. Frequent Distractions

This is when things consistently creep up, preventing the couple from talking, e.g when they prefer to spend time on their phones, the husband likes to bring his work home, or the woman is always tired at the end of every day.

Proper communication involves making sacrifices and dedicating time to the things that matter to you.

13. One-word Replies

Imagine a newlywed couple of questions like “are you okay” that could merit one-word replies and end up receiving paragraphs instead.

One word means that you aren’t interested and would love the discussion to end. If your partner constantly feels put off, what incentive would they have to fight for the marriage?


Noticing the signs of poor communication in your marriage is the first step to making amends and revitalizing your marriage. Poor communication is a silent killer and can lead to a series of events that could end in a broken marriage.



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