Signs A Separated Man Is Ready To Date (A Must Know)

Dating a separated man puts you in a tricky situation. One of the most common concerns women have when dating a divorced or separated man is whether or not he is over his previous relationship and ready for new love.

We have all jumped into a new relationship before we were ready, and most of us, at some point or another, have been in someone else’s rebound relationship.

Unlike divorce, a separation is not a complete break of the legal union of marriage. A legal separation is more than one partner physically moving from the home.

It is a halfway status with its own legal rules and criteria you must follow. Legal separation provides space that allows you to reconcile if you wish and relieves the pressure to figure out what you want going forward.

17 Signs A Separated Man Is Ready To Date (A Must Know)

It is okay to date a separated man if he is willing to take on the risk. He comes with legal, financial, and even emotional baggage. You have to be extremely patient to accept it and work hard to keep the relationship strong.

1. He Knows What He Wants

He has a clear vision for his life and relationship. He can envision his perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps him motivated.

2. He Know His Relationship Requirements

He knows his nonnegotiable relationship requirements (he has around 6 – 10) that he can use to screen potential partners. He is clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for him.

3. He Is Ready And Available For Commitment

He has no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. His schedule, commitments, and lifestyle allow him availability to build new relationships.

4. He Is Satisfied With His Work/Career

His work is fulfilling, supports his lifestyle, and does not interfere with his availability for a new relationship.

5. He Is Healthy In Mind, Body, And Spirit

His physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with the life and relationship he wants. He is reasonably happy and feels good.

6. His Financial And Legal Business Are Handled

He has no financial or legal issues that would interfere with the life and relationship he wants.

7. His Family Relationships Are Functional

His relationships with his children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that he wants.

8.He Has Effective Dating Skills

He initiates contact with people he wants to meet and disengages from people who are not a match for him. He keeps his physical and emotional boundaries and balances his heart with his head with potential partners.

9. He Has Effective Relationship Skills

He understands relationships, maintains closeness and intimacy, communicates authentically and assertively, negotiates differences, allows me to trust and be vulnerable, and gives and receives love without emotional barriers.

The above relationship readiness guidelines can also be super insightful considerations for your own life in assessing your readiness.

10. He Refers To Himself As Single

People who are ready for a new relationship consider themselves to be single.
They aren’t divorced, separated, widowed, etc. They’re single.

Now, an important caveat, this doesn’t mean he isn’t also one of those other things—it means he sees himself as available.
However, I’m sure you’ve met men who consider themselves “available.”

Still, they aren’t available to date (in the way you’d like them to be available) because maybe he’s still living with his ex-wife (pending a divorce), or his divorce is highly, highly contentious, and takes up all of his immediate time and resources.

So, “single” is a mindset. But it is also a relationship status. Notice where your guy is with both.

12. He Doesn’t Bad-Mouth His Ex

There will be times when he has to mention his ex-wife simply because she is the mother of his children., for example.

If he calls her by her name or refers to her as “their mother,” there is a good chance that his mental attitude towards her is healthy.

And what I mean by this is that when you’re trying to decide whether he’s ready for new love, notice how he talks about his ex.

Suppose he’s even-keel and not harboring a lot of emotional energy there. In that case, whether it’s resentment or other emotions, chances are he’s not emotionally preoccupied with his past relationship, and his heart might be open to new love.

I once had a boyfriend who referred to his ex-wife as “that stupid bitch.”

Take heed.

Calling his ex-wife anything derogatory (next to signifying immaturity) often indicates that he may have strong feelings, even if they are negative feelings, that are still unresolved.

13. He Is Happy For Her When She Moves On

Building on my last point. Pay attention to how he refers to and interacts with his ex.

If his ex has found someone new and the guy you’re dating is either unaffected or even genuinely happy for her, that might be a good sign that he isn’t still emotionally entangled with his ex-wife.
But that’s not to say he shouldn’t care about her moving on.

If he has qualms about her new love interest relating to her relationship’s impact on his and his ex-wife’s kids, that’s a different story.
It’s important to distinguish whether any feelings that do come up are actually about his ex or whether they are about the kids.

14. He Isn’t Hesitant for You To Meet Her, His Family, Or His Friends

He shouldn’t be hesitant to introduce you to all the important people in his life (except maybe the kids, but that depends on how long you have been dating and is a whole topic all on its own).

When men are emotionally ready to start a new relationship and find someone special, they will want to share that with the other people in their lives—they will want to normalize their relationship.

If he is keeping you a secret or wants to keep you separate from the rest of his life, he may not be ready to let go of the past and share a normal dating life.

This can be tricky if you are dating someone who is separated rather than divorced.

When a man is separated, he may feel ready to move on, but other people in his life, to whom he might still have obligations, may not be ready to do so.

15. He Isn’t Trying To Set Any Speed Records

There is an old saying that the best way to get over a person is to get under someone else. And this is advice that some men take to heart.

I am not against casual relationships if they are created transparently and consciously.
When a man is recently separated or divorced, often there is an unmistakable void.

Avoid all the familiar comforts of being in a long-term relationship.
The impulse to fill that void might cause him to rush into a relationship without being conscious about what he wants or who he’s hooking up with.
It takes time to heal from the end of a significant relationship.

Suppose he’s recently divorced and wants to take it slow by getting to know you before becoming an instant couple or a mini-marriage. In that case, it’s likely a good sign that he wants to be mindful of his readiness for a relationship.

16. He Can Share His Past With You 

But talking about his ex and being preoccupied with his ex are two different things.

If he starts telling you a story about his ex out of the blue that doesn’t help you get to know him better, or he becomes very negative about her, take note and proceed with caution.

Everyone has a past, and if he has a healthy relationship with his past, he will be able to recount his stories, even if it involves talking about his ex, in the same way, he would relate a similar story involving a friend.

When we have dealt with the hurt feelings and lost future of a failed relationship, we can share memories, tell stories, and talk about our personal history with a certain level of retrospective detachment, without getting worked up.

17. He Doesn’t Feel Like He Has To Hide Her

The fact is that your new man and his ex-wife have children together, which means they will remain in close contact for a long, long time.

But if he’s open, transparent, cares about what you think, and invites you into deeper understanding—instead of becoming defensive—it speaks to his relationship maturity and potential readiness for a new relationship.

Being open doesn’t mean that he gives you a weekly rundown of every text, email, or conversation he has with his ex. It means that he will be honest if he takes a phone call in the middle of dinner and you ask who it is.

Conclusion

If he is angry, jealous, secretive, etc., whenever anything having to do with her comes up or happens, chances are he’s not really over her and is not ready to move on.

But he seems to have a healthy relationship with his ex-wife. In that case, this is a good thing because it indicates that they have established a new post-divorce or post-separation relationship based on being parents.

 

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