Triggers After Being Cheated On And How To Deal With Them

Triggers after being cheated on can be traumatizing event to occur to an individual.

Going through a heartbreak is not an easy feat. Especially if it was as a result of infidelity. It tends to threaten your emotional and mental state, perturbing your mind with lots of questions, like: weren’t you enough?

Would you remain loyal after such had been done? You would always wonder what went wrong to have caused it, and if it could have been avoided. But none of that would change the act that was committed.

What Is Infidelity?

Before we delve deep into the subject of Triggers after being cheated on, let’s know exactly what infidelity is. If you seek a simple or summarized definition, Infidelity means the “quality of being unfaithful.” It can also be best explained as any action that violates an implicit or explicit agreement between two people, which will, in turn, harm the relationship.

Infidelity can only be said to occur between partners in an intimate relationship –where one partner is unfaithful to the other.

Infidelity is not necessarily recognized in a friendship or compassionate connection.
Though, these types of platonic friendships can eventually evolve into intimate or emotional affairs.

It usually involves some level of secrecy.
When Infidelity comes to mind, people usually categorize it as physical. That is when it only includes sexual contact with someone that is not the person’s partner or spouse.

To a large extent, this thought is not exactly accurate. Infidelity could be borne by an emotional connection as well.
Labeling it as “just sex” makes it easy for someone to say, “I didn’t cheat on you; we’re just close friends. I’ve never touched them.”

And they tend to get away with it. That makes it all the more tricky and erratic. Cheating shouldn’t be labeled as only physical; in either case, it happens when one person participating in an affair is giving away something to another that they reserved only for their partner or spouse.

The subject of infidelity in relationships is not a strange one. It is a major threat to the stability of committed relationships and can scatter a bond that was probably formed over many years. This is because it breaks the trust that was built.

A deduction from a research paper suggests that around one-third of men and one-quarter of women might get involved in extradyadic sexual relationships at the minimum once in their lifetime. Also, as per research, 70% of all Americans get involved in some affair during their marital life.

By these statistics, we can surmise that infidelity is way too common, so the act’s implications are rarely considered or thought about thoroughly. These implications on relationships are hazardous. It can be avoided if a person can identify the things that are most likely to cause it.

Triggers After Being Cheated On And How To Deal With Them – 13 Effective Ways

1. Spending Time With Your Partner Who Cheated

After the period of infidelity, if you’ve decided to give your partner another chance, that doesn’t immediately put you out of the trigger zone.

If anything, it might make things worse. Something they say might raise doubts and cause you to remember the dark times again.

For instance, if he stays out late, or if she spends time on the phone for long, away from your hearing shot, etc. Those things are enough to pull triggers after being cheated on .

2. Romantic Sounds

The melody or harmony of love can take you to corner to cry your eyes out.  It could remind you of the Intimate moments shared with your spouse, and cause triggers after being cheated on.

3. Love Stories

Like the sound -melody and harmony of love, stories have similar triggers after being cheated on.

4.  Not Hearing From Your Partner

The distance between you and your spouse doesn’t necessarily give some ease. Not hearing from your partner for a while could make your wander as to what he or she is doing, who he or she is with, and the loop goes on. This isn’t very healthy and can cause triggers after being cheated on .

5. When Your Partner Shows Up When You Least Expect It

Granted, you are getting by and recovering quickly, and you’ve decided to move on with your life without your partner in it. Then, suddenly, from out of nowhere, your spouse springs up from the dust.

This takes you by surprise and causes the memories to break through the walls you’ve built and floods your mind. The presence of a partner who showed up unannounced causes a dangerous triggers after being cheated on .

6. Anger Effects

It is possible to feel so much pent up anger at everything and nothing in particular after being cheated on. This is an effect of infidelity. This is an example of triggers after being cheated on

7. Self-doubt

Another trigger after being cheated on is self-doubt. You experience the phase of asking so many questions you might not have the answers too, and you might find yourself choosing to believe that it didn’t happen. It is like a coping mechanism for the hurt, these are Triggers after being cheated on .

8. Trauma Incident

This is an emotional wound or shock often having long-lasting effects. Being cheated on can cause Trauma.

9. Immediate Distance

Another trigger is distance. You might isolate yourself from the rest of the world for a while. You feel detached and would crave your space or to be in a corner, musing over thoughts like, “what went wrong?” Finding yourself in this phase is perfectly normal, but it isn’t healthy to remain here.

10. Rare Silence

Like the trigger of isolation and distance, silence follows after. Not feeling the need to converse with friends or communicate with the outside world. This is a form of triggers after being cheated on being cheated on.

11. PTSD Syndromes

It is also natural to experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after a rough relationship, especially when it ended because of infidelity.
Some people can’t handle the weight of their emotions or intelligence being played on. These are triggers after being cheated on.

12. Low Self-esteem

Unfaithfulness in a relationship by a spouse can cause an effect on the other, like low self-esteem. It can shatter the pride you have in yourself.

13. Trust Issues

This trigger is natural and may tend to have a more prolonged effect. After being cheated on, it’ll be hard to trust again. It is almost like sleeping with one eye open.

Trust issue is one of the triggers after being cheated on.

3 Major Causes Of Infidelity In Relationships And How It Leads To Triggers

According to the experts, one of the most common causes of infidelity is
disconnection from your partner. That settles it. Once the link is broken, the couple will experience an immediate disconnect.

Usually, the partner who committed the act might decide to spring up the excuse of not feeling loved or appreciated anymore.

Those usher in feeling sad and ignored and cause them to tilt toward the direction of another person who feeds them attention.

Various causes of infidelity exist, and each case differs from the others. Let us delve into some of the causes of infidelity.

1. Emotional Disconnection

One of the causes of an emotional disconnection between spouses is a redirection of attention. Excessive usage of mobile devices or the internet is also a probable cause of this.

Paying more attention to this on the net — talking for long hours at home, work, or even meeting up in public or private places, slowly extinguishes the attention you give your spouse. This causes infidelity which may lead to triggers after being cheated on.

2. Not Dealing  With Problems

Talk about it. Don’t ignore it. Try to find a solution.
Some would rather pretend they can handle the hurt and keep mute.

It eats you inside until, one day, you can’t take it anymore, and you find yourself spilling your guts — marriage problems — to someone other than your spouse.

That’s problem number one. Once you think bottling up or running away from the problems will somehow solve it, that’s a major cause of infidelity.
There are times when, instead of dealing with the problem at hand, husbands or wives make excuses and try to find another way that opens the door to infidelity.

3. Boredom

It is not a good excuse, but it is a cause. Believe it or not, boredom is a leading cause of infidelity.

People fall into routines that take the excitement from everything, including the fun in the bedroom.

Often, it leads to cheating when one partner is no longer satisfied in the relationship and seeks something new and exciting.

Many look for excitement to escape boredom and experiment with things like adopting new hobbies or hanging out with different people. They end up cheating their partners. Sometimes without meaning to do so.

How To Get Past Infidelity Triggers

There is something it does to you—the effect of being cheated on. You begin to question your value or self-worth. There could be days when the memory springs up, and your insecurities come alive.

It could even threaten your peace if you venture into or start a new relationship. Trust issues are all over the place. But, pause. Take a deep breath. It’s perfectly okay to experience this sometimes.

The trauma is no joke. It’s part of the recovery process. And that is why we’ll help by providing ways in which you could get past these triggers.

1. You Are Not Overreacting (Triggers are normal)

You have to start by accepting that triggers are normal. They are a part of your recovery process, so there’s no need to feel guilty when going through the heightened emotional phase. Infidelity triggers are also psychological.

They cause sleep problems, unpredictable behaviors, mood swings, health issues, and depression. They are also signs of PTSD and PISD.

2. Deal With The Truth

With half-truths, you can’t necessarily deal with the cheating scars. It would help if you heard the entire truth from your partner.

This has benefits: it will dissolve doubts and cause buried issues to surface, which will help with some closure. It will hurt, no doubt, but it’ll do you some good.

Ask all the questions and get ready to hear everything your partner says. Expect your partner to reveal only some of the details of the affair. They might get defensive and uncomfortable when they have to talk about what transpired, but you will get a good deal of information.

3. Know What Your Triggers Are

Knowledge is power. Once you can identify your triggers, you can rein-control them. If you and your partner had a special song, try to avoid listening to it or any sound like it. It could cause a trigger.

Even visiting the places you spent time together, or recalling experiences. You might find yourself avoiding them, for a time. This is advisable, especially when you’re still dealing with the shock of infidelity.

These triggers could be anything, including depressing songs, movies, TV shows, or news stories about cheating.

4. Deal With Triggers

This is the one way to move past the experience. After identifying these triggers, you should be intentional about confronting them.

You could either avoid them until you’re sure you’re emotionally and mentally ready or face them head-on because you believe you’re strong enough.

For instance, if you formed a habit or routine with your partner, and your partner decides to stop doing whatever it is with you, that could be a trigger.

If it makes you think they are spending time with someone else, you can form a new routine just for your peace of mind.

5.  Self-care Is A Priority

Your mental and emotional balance should be your priority. You can only do much or be productive if you are strong.

Make sure you take time to care for yourself; sleep well, eat well, exercise, and maintain your hygiene. Doing this will keep you healthy enough to get past the trauma.

6. Seek Professional Help

If it gets too much to handle, seek professional help. You don’t have to deal with the trauma single-handedly.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is advised. It is effective in dealing with triggers. It works by changing distortion patterns in your thinking and teaching you emotional self-regulation.

It has been proven that getting help from a therapist trained in Cognitive behavioral therapy can give you an invaluable headstart on healing.

The therapist might also recommend exposure therapy, where you have to consciously decide to expose yourself to triggering situations to practice overcoming them. This has proven to be helpful.


You must put a lot of effort into looking after yourself at this time and discover effective coping mechanisms for handling your emotions and flashbacks.

You should seek professional assistance if you ever struggle with triggers after being cheated on. Knowing when to ask for assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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