What Is My Husband Thinking During Separation

“What is my husband thinking during separation?” A lot of women ponder during separation.

Marital separation happens when a couple decides not to live together anymore. The couple also ceases to act as if they are married despite still being legally married.

Separation does not mean the marriage is over, although it is often a prelude to divorce. The separation sometimes ends with the couple being more committed to their marriage.

A legal separation can be granted by the court and is terminated when the couple starts living together again. Separation is partially right, even though it may look bleak to both parties. Often people need time away from each other to evaluate their choices, priorities, and how best to carry on.

Regardless of whether you or your husband initiated the break, both of you will experience some emotional distress. The best thing to do here is to focus on yourself. Trying to know what the other person is feeling or thinking is frustrating because you cannot be entirely sure of what is on somebody’s mind unless they tell you.

Depending on your husband’s personality and the circumstances surrounding your separation, below are some things that can constitute his thoughts.

What Is My Husband Thinking During Separation: 11 Things

There are a lot things that goes through a man’s mind during separation but for the purpose of this article, we will be considering 11 clear things, and they include:

1. Divorce

In many instances, after separation comes divorce. Your husband could be thinking of ending the marriage, or he could be thinking about whether you want to end the marriage.


He could examine his feelings about permanently walking away and whether that is the best course. If he decides to divorce or thinks you have, he can think of how to hire the best lawyers and ensure his losses are minimal.

2. The Cost Of Divorce

Suppose he decided to end the marriage permanently; he could be thinking about what he has to lose. If you were an excellent wife to him, he would think of how he will manage the home without you.

He will also consider how much of his wealth will be granted to you and what it will cost him to pay child support. Aside from money for child support, he could also be thinking about its impact on the kids.

3. The Good Days

Your husband may be reminiscing about the good moments you spent together and the beautiful memories you made.

He can decide to dwell in fantasy land and enjoy memories from the good old days. He can choose not to focus on the negativity and each others’ shortcomings and instead remember the days he brought smiles to your face and vice versa. This could happen if he is a romantic and an optimist.

4. The Troubles

Usually, when a relationship ends, people think of what went wrong with something that was once beautiful. Your husband is no exception. He could be thinking of the things that have led the relationship to doom and how things could have been if both of you had done things differently. He could also be laying all the blame on you or sharing it between you.

5. Reconciliation

Assuming your husband is optimistic about your marriage or still loves you enough to desire another chance at making things work, he may be thinking of how to get you back and rekindle the romance and passion that once existed.


Also, if he is against divorce for whatever reason, you can bet that he is thinking of what to do and the right words to convince you to give your marriage another chance.

6. Everything else

Depending on his coping mechanism and the depth of his emotional turmoil, your husband can think of everything else but you and the marriage.

If he is deeply hurt about the state of things, he can ignore the events happening in the union and instead focus all his energy and attention on his work and hobbies.

Men like that do not grasp the full extent of what is going on and may only stop to think about what happened long after the separation has morphed into divorce.

7. His New Family

Suppose the separation is just a prelude to divorce, and your marriage is ending because your husband is no longer interested in being with you and wants someone else. In that case, he may be thinking of a new life and family with the new woman.

He may be looking forward to better days and thinking of how to make the new woman happy and ensure that the new romance does not end.

8. Moving on

During separation, your husband may decide that he enjoys being single and wants to stay that way. In such a case, his mind is occupied with just how much fun he has away from commitments and the need to be accountable to someone.

He will be thinking of how to communicate this new change to you. He could be thinking of his new goals and aspirations and how to achieve them, primarily if he viewed the marriage as an obstacle.

Your husband can plan how he wants to spend the rest of his life and what he wants to do now that you are out of the picture.

9.Maybe You

Sometimes, separation can make your husband realize how much of a fantastic woman you are. It is incredible what absence does to the mind. Perhaps he sees how helpful you were and how your presence impacted his life.

He could be missing you and wondering if he should act on those emotions or just leave things as they are. Of course, all thoughts of you may not be rosy. He could think of how damaged you are and how you messed up his life.

10. It Could Be Regrets

Your husband could be thinking of how much he wishes he had never met or married you, especially if you were not suitable for him.

He can be thinking of the time and resources he has wasted in an unfulfilling union. If the relationship was abusive, he could be thinking of what it will take to shake off the feelings of regrets and place you in his past.

If his family and close friends did not welcome his marriage to you, he might regret not listening to them and think of how to respond to the sympathy and “I told you’.

11. Self-improvement

This is a two-sided thing. For instance, if he wants you back, he could be thinking of how to be a better husband.

He could be deciding to do couple therapy or anything else to guarantee that you do not go through another separation.

On the other hand, if he or you have decided to divorce, his thoughts will be on how to be a better man and, by extension, a better husband for the next woman.

Even if he decides not to marry, he could think of how to ensure that he is in a better place the next time you see him.


It is not advisable to spend your time in separation thinking of what your husband is thinking. It is difficult to predict his thoughts despite how much you know him. Instead of doing that, think about yourself, what your marriage means to you, and whether you want a divorce.

Also, do not make decisions based on your assumptions about the content of his mind. If his thoughts bother you, you should ask the person that can give you the best answer- your husband.


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