How To Deal With Divorce When You Still Love Him

How to deal with divorce when you still love him? What do you do when you have to be in a divorce with someone you love? how do you deal with that?

The chemistry surrounding marriage – love – is not quite understandable. First, it makes you feel you cannot survive without him (My “Love is in the air” Phase).

Then it tells you that you can survive without him (My “I wish I did not meet you” Phase), and when you make a move to survive without him, it reminds you that you need to learn to survive without him (My “I am done with you” Phase).

Pretty impressive if you ask me, but it is a crooked path, one assumes nonetheless.
As with everything we do in life, beginnings are the most difficult of all stages, and majorly, the solution to it is the belief that it can be done.

Tuning into divorces, the aftermath of it is primarily a caged mind, and the idea that there can be a release is essential. Belief cuts across all areas of a fulfilled life and its presence in moving on from a failed union cannot be over-emphasized. Without it, recovery may not be possible.

How To Deal With Divorce When You Still Love Him – 15 Quick Ways

As love has it, most persons do not anticipate the end of their marriage hence the difficulty of blending with traditional ways of life when it comes to being. The thought of it is a challenge for some; talk less of undergoing what recovery process is put into play.

Understand that making moves to learn how to survive without your spouse is not an indication that you do not love them. It is just an assurance that you are healthy, mind and otherwise, and this article discusses 15 methods you, as a female, can employ to achieve it.

1. Admit This Is Occurring

It would be wrong to put on a pleasant face or pretend that “everything is OK” to make everyone around you believe that you are managing this life shift like the strong, capable person you have always been.

There is no need to play the role of a hero. Your friends and family can’t offer to help you deal with the anguish if you don’t let them see that you’re in pain. Release it. Be truthful.

How To Deal With Divorce When You Still Love Him

2. Allow Yourself Time To Recover

It is crucial to understand that recovering from a divorce, particularly one you didn’t start, will take time. Remember that you will eventually recover.

There will be good days, awful days, and days when you feel like you, aren’t moving forward on your grief calendar. However, have faith in the process: Are those tiny splits you can see on the horizon?

Through them, light seeps in. And one day, you’ll wake up and discover that you haven’t thought about your ex-husband or what he did for hours, days, or weeks.

3. Don’t Seek Revenge

Naturally, you will have them, but for the love of God, please refrain from getting a little drunk one night and sleeping with his closest buddy. Such acts of retaliation make you feel horrible about yourself, making everything more complicated.

Many women (especially if they still love their husbands) feel the need to exact retribution after their marriage has ended. By acting this way, the women try to deal with their love and end their enthusiasm for a man, but it is ineffective.

You do not present yourself in the best light by insulting your ex-husband and berating him in front of your family and friends.

Furthermore, your ex-husband will have little respect for you when he finds out about it—and he will, there is no doubt about that.

You will also feel terrible about yourself, which is not what you need now. Even for the sake of your reputation and self-esteem, you should try to let rid of your ideas about him and your desire to hurt his feelings.

4. Do Not Look For A Replacement

Some women argue that they must quickly locate a replacement to quit loving their husbands.

Thus, the females attempt to accomplish two goals by forgetting about their previous relationship and exacting revenge on their ex-husband by starting a new romance.

But in reality, things take place entirely differently. Divorced women frequently start comparing their new spouse to their ex-husband, which is terrible for the relationship and unfair to the new partner.

Furthermore, flimsy relationships and extramarital affairs worsened and prevented the mental state from settling.

Don’t give up on yourself or your private life, but don’t rush things. To resume leading a whole life and choosing a new relationship could take a long time.

But rather than being the end aim, the new connection should be the logical result of a circumstance in which you truly no longer love your husband and are prepared to move on.

5. Identify And Combat Your Negative Thoughts

Not all thoughts and feelings are valid, especially when you are overreacting and overwhelmed.

You may easily misunderstand and misinterpret what’s happening if you’re experiencing guilt, worry, or anxiety. For instance, just because you believe you are unworthy or too imperfect to find love again does not necessarily mean it is true.

Answer the following questions to challenge your unfavorable ideas and perceptions:
Do I have any encounters that conflict with my beliefs?

What proof do I have that what I think is true is true? Am I falling victim to a mental trap (such as catastrophising or an all-or-nothing viewpoint)?

What advice would I give a friend with the same notion as me?

6. Plan And Evaluate Priorities

Starting a new life from scratch is the best way to deal with a divorce when you still love your husband.

When the wave of intense emotions and animosity has passed, consider who you are and your plans. Your life hasn’t come to an end because of the divorce. Start by embracing your true self.

Divorce often allows people to reevaluate their opinions on various topics and occurrences, look into the advantages of living alone, and improve their self-esteem.

Realise your actual wants and desires, begin to plan and create goals, and pay attention to the beneficial outcomes.

Plan And Evaluate Priorities

7. Get Involved In A Challenging New Hobby

It is a tried-and-true method for improving your self-esteem and fostering new friendships with others who did not previously know you as a pair. To learn more, check out the resources in your area.

Have you ever wished to learn Spanish or German?
You can be sure that your local community college offers adult education courses.
What about a workshop for art or sculpture?

Not only will you be occupied, but you’ll also bring something lovely you made home! It’s a fantastic idea to join a jogging or gym club to eliminate any unfavourable ideas you may have. The benefits of exercise on mood are similar to those of antidepressants.

8. Don’t Daydream

Please stop trying to alter who you are to change the situation; no matter how often you fantasize about it, nothing will change, and your relationship won’t work.

You will find yourself drowning in pain if you carry on like this.
Therefore, take a deep breath, remind yourself of reality, and look ahead because better and more beautiful things are on the horizon than the person who hurt your heart.

When you are prepared, remove any remembrances of him from your home
Doing this can “throw off” your feelings of love. Personalize your property to suit your tastes.

Have pastel colors and wicker furniture always been your dream for your living room? Please do it!

Sell or donate anything in your home that makes you nostalgic for “how it was when the spouse was here”, and make it your reflection.

9. Believe In Life

Do not allow another person’s choice to ruin your life.
Leaving someone, you could start something fresh and lovely in your life as a way to figure out how to move on.

Afterwards, you would move on to better and more essential things in life after ending a relationship.

Put down the knife if you are suicidal; don’t waste your life because somebody abandoned you. Let this go; you are surrounded by individuals who love you more than he does.

Consider your future, put your attention on yourself, and make an effort to improve yourself.

10. Do Not Use Your Children As Pawns If You Have Any

Although we appreciate conditional rage, using the kids as leverage against your ex is morally unacceptable.

They are the victims of his shifting affections, not the cause, but he is still their father, and your hurt and anger shouldn’t influence how he interacts with them.

We acknowledge that this is a difficult task, but you will only harm them if you pit them against their father or tell them he is a bad father for divorcing you.

If you must criticize him, do it alone or with one close friend, but make sure the children are out of earshot.

Do Not Use Your Children As Pawns If You Have Any

11. Decide If Becoming Buddies Is The Correct Course To Take

Most people find it difficult to let go of love; when they do, they cling to remaining friends to preserve the relationship with the person they love.

The belief around this is that the ex will return, but consider this:
Will they leave again if things get complicated if they return now?

Would they remain loyal, knowing that you will eventually pardon them and accept them back into your life?

12. Get Closure

There are two steps to closure:

First, you understand your ex-partner’s value and then recognize their contribution to your life. Make apologies to your ex-partner or by pledging never to make the same mistakes with a new partner.

Please understand that your unfulfilled needs and irreconcilable disputes are no longer a concern.

It doesn’t matter who did what was right or wrong or who caused more significant harm, what important is that you can finally put things to rest in a way that benefits you both.

13. Forget About Other People

People nearby may persistently inquire about intricate details of your divorce. If they discuss something negative, it gets even worse.

Keep it from affecting you. Let people express themselves as they please. Their mouths are out of your control, regardless.

14. Consult A Professional

Consult a licensed psychologist if you need help moving past a divorce. It will assist you in managing the accumulated emotions, regaining confidence and self-respect, and eventually moving past your ex-husband.

Additionally, the therapist will assist in not only surviving difficult times but also in dealing seriously with more general interior difficulties and prejudices, as well as in reviewing mistakes made in the past.

The psychologist is more than simply a person to cry on. Although you will have to put a lot of effort into improving yourself, therapy is worth it.

 

Conclusion

Many women make the error of persistently pursuing a loved one after a divorce. They start to write heartfelt letters, try to resolve issues during private encounters, and so on.

Avoid using such tactics because they are embarrassing and lower your self-esteem. Spend time allowing yourself to suffer rather than obsessing over keeping in touch with your ex-partner.

You can cry, consider your future, and even feel sorry for yourself, but try not to get too carried away with such behavior.

The “acute” crisis often passes one to two months after a divorce. It does not imply that you will entirely forget about your ex-husband and your sentiments after the term.

However, as you continue to take action, the discomfort will eventually lessen somewhat, and you will have made a complete “recovery”.

While you cannot turn love off like a tap, you can learn how to deal with it using specific coping mechanisms. You will go through one of the most challenging and significant life procedures, but you can ease the process by applying these tips.

 

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