How To Improve My Marriage With My Husband

Is there a way on how to improve my marriage with my husband? What is the need to improve my marriage? The truth is, there is no perfect marriage- neither that of your favorite celebrity nor yours. Because we are all imperfect beings, we bring our flaws to the table in marriage.

Thus, we must constantly seek improvement to continue reaping the benefits of a healthy union. Marriage improvement is a welcome idea for couples whose marriages are almost hitting the rocks because it offers a solution to the mayhem.

However, marriage improvement is also for people enjoying healthy marriages. As a married person, if you become complacent, you lose out on making your marriage even better and may slowly slip into chaos.

Marriage improvement involves processes, steps, and byte-sized actions that can improve the quality of your marriage and allow you to enjoy the benefits of a wholesome marriage. Below are some tricks that can help you to improve your marriage.

10 Ways On How To Improve My Marriage With My Husband

There are a lot of ways on how to improve your marriage with your husband. But for the purpose of this article, we will be looking at 10 most effective ways on how to improve your marriage with your husband.

These ways include:

1. Be Ready To Communicate

This is the secret behind successful marriages. A couple has to learn to speak to and understand what each other is saying if they hope to survive stormy days.

An effective way of communicating is creating a ritual around the act.
Ideally, the ritual should accommodate daily communication and make provisions for when you are unwilling to talk to each other, like during conflicts.

A couple can decide to tell each other about their day daily before going to bed and resolve to leave text messages or emails for each other while quarreling.

This act fosters togetherness and ensures both parties feel seen and heard in the marriage.

2. Go On Dates Again With Your Husband

In short, the goal is to keep dating even while you are married. Can you remember the early days of your relationship? The spark you felt and the level of connection you enjoyed was because the relationship was starting.

It is still possible to create those sparks years down the line by doing the activities both of you enjoyed back then. For instance, if visiting restaurants is your thing, you can plan to go on such dates at least once a month.

You can also switch things up by introducing new activities, e.g., learning a new language or musical instrument, building a fitness habit, visiting museums, etc.

The list is endless, and there’s plenty of room for creativity and individuality. By doing this, you are answering how to improve my marriage with my husband.

3. Practice Love Language

Love languages are not just fancy internet fads. There are ways to show love to your partner that are more effective than other methods.

For example, if your partner’s primary love language is acts of service, making breakfast in bed or helping them to write an important email can melt their hearts.

From your point of view, these may look insignificant, but because you are speaking your partner’s language, their response may surprise you.

To figure out your partner’s love language, read books and articles on the topic, practice what you have read, and keep reiterating till you get it right.

4. Mary Edward’s Proven Theory On “Reaffirmation”

I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry. When was the last time you used such language with your spouse?

When you have been married for a while, it is easy to take each other for granted, and this is a classic case of familiarity bringing contempt.

When we are close to people, we expect them to know that we love them and overlook our small sins without verbal input. Your partner should feel your affection in words and deeds.

Learn to give your spouse forehead kisses, hugs from behind, and other micro-actions that mean a lot. It is also helpful to give praise when due.

For instance, if your partner helps you with a task or celebrates a win at work, you can praise them. Words of encouragement now and then are helpful, especially from loved ones.

5. Be Ready To Surprise Each Other

Imagine finding a bouquet or a box of chocolates with a cute, cheesy note on your desk in the morning. How would that make you feel? That’s exactly how much it would please your partner or more. Surprises do not have to always involve gifts.

It could include acts like picking up his clothes from the dry cleaner, replacing the mouse he complained about, making the dish he was craving, helping the kids with their homework when it’s not your turn, doing the dishes for everyone after dinner, etc.

The list goes on and the sky is truly your limit. These acts can be pleasantly surprising and show that your partner is thinking of you during the day. How heartwarming can that be?

6. You Could Adopt Mary Edward’s Theory For “Intimacy”

According to research, it has been proven that 80% of relationships and marriages fail when there is no communication on intimacy.

This is to explain the importance of Sexual practice between partners holistically. If you were asked how important sex is in a marriage, you would rank it high on the list, which is true for many couples.

Why do we leave such an important act to when we are in the mood? Do you depend on your mood to get important stuff done? Why do you depend on it for sex in your marriage?

This is not negating the times when you will be truly tired and need rest or when sex is not feasible for whatever reasons.

If sex is important to you and your spouse, find a way to fit it into your schedule on an agreed frequency.

And when it is time, try to get ready to enjoy physical intimacy with your spouse. If more couples could have more sex, people would be filled with fewer complaints about their marriages.

7. There Is Conflict Of Framework

No matter how peaceful a marriage is or how peace-loving a man and his wife are, conflicts are bound to occur, and it is simply what happens when people live together.

If you are serious about improving your marriage, figuring out ways to handle conflicts is in your best interest. If conflict is left unchecked, it can grow into bigger problems over time.

To improve your marriage, you should be proactive about settling any fight and smoothing out any disagreement. For instance, a couple can decide not to stay mad at each other for over 24 or 48 hours.

Nobody loves to talk about problems, but forcing yourselves to do it when needed benefits the union in the long run.

8. Try to Learn From Others’ Experience

Knowledge does not exist in isolation; there are people who have had a stable marriage for longer than yourself. Find those people and interact with them.

They could be older relatives or people in your neighborhood.
These people have remained married for a long time simply because they know how to make the marriage work for them, and it isn’t dumb luck.

Speaking to such people can give you actionable insights on how best to make your marriage more interesting.

Note that you should only learn from couples online if you are sure of their identity and certain that they are enjoying their marriage to some extent and not faking it.

9. Work Around Parenting

Raising children is time and energy-consuming. However, it would be best to create time for your marriage actively. Your kids will all grow up and leave home one day, and only your marriage will remain.

When that happens, do you want to be left with a fantastic marriage or one that is a shadow of its former self? That choice is yours; your decisions now determine what happens then.

It can spell doom for your marriage if you do not find a way to be attentive to your spouse and their needs while still caring for the children.

A simple way to do this is by involving your spouse with the kids. Doing some chores together for the kids can help foster a sense of unity among couples.

10. Practice Shared Goals

Friends who bleed together, celebrate together. Few things bring people closer like working together to achieve a common goal. This is also true in marriage.

To improve your marriage, consider joining your spouse to set goals and then act as each other’s accountability partners and cheerleaders. This ensures that you are talking about your challenges with them and getting support from them as well.

When you smash these goals, remember to celebrate together. This will create a spirit of oneness between you and your spouse.


Marriage improvement is not made in a day; you only reap the benefits after implementing these tricks over time.

However, marriage improvement can add to the quality of your relationship and should be taken seriously. Do not let the work dissuade you from putting in your best efforts to create your desired marriage.

Leave a Comment