Marriage Counseling What Not To Say (9 Important Things)

Marriage counseling what not to say? You should be able to express your feelings in therapy, even if you haven’t told anyone else about them.

It is frequently acceptable to be open and honest with your therapist. It would be best if you didn’t have to worry too much about what not to tell your therapist because, in most cases, they are bound by confidentiality laws and cannot disclose your personal information without your written permission.

Confidentiality may not apply to you if you are contemplating harming yourself or others or if you have abused a kid.

In these situations, the law may require your therapist to violate secrecy to safeguard you or another person.

It is up to you what information you share, but no rule says you should never mention that you are considering harming yourself to a therapist. In actuality, speaking your views could end up saving your life.

Marriage Counseling What Not To Say – 9 Things

It is acceptable to be completely honest in therapy because, in most cases, what you say stays there unless you grant permission otherwise. With your therapist, you might occasionally talk about complex subjects like your grief, a traumatic event from your past, or errors you’ve made in relationships.

Being honest about such subjects can be challenging, but advancing your treatment and solving your issues is crucial.

Knowing how to prepare for your first counseling appointment can be calming. Having first-hand experience with therapy provides you with a secure environment for self-inquiry and self-discovery with an objective party—your therapist.

There are some things, though, that you should remember not to mention to your therapist. This article offers suggestions to help you get the most out of counseling rather than trying to make you feel uneasy about talking to a therapist.

There are a lot of things you shouldn’t say to your marriage counseling therapist. But for the purpose of this article, we will focus on the top 9 things to avoid.

This includes:

1. Please Don’t Inform My Husband Or Wife, but…

Sorry, but we can’t keep sensitive information from your partner because we aren’t allowed to take sides as marital counselors.

Don’t disclose it to your marital counselor if you don’t want your partner to know. Why would you like your companion to be unaware of it? You should discuss that with your marital counselor.

2. “No, I Believe You’re Mistaken,”

It is your responsibility to get what you want out of your partnership. We only offer suggestions or recommendations for things to attempt for your own benefit.

Therefore, if you reject our advice or are outright hostile toward it, that informs us something, and you’ll likely spend some time in therapy discussing the reasons why.

I’m not saying we always have it right, but there’s no point in arguing with us about it because we don’t care either way. As I previously stated, it’s your partnership, and if our recommendations don’t work for you, they don’t work.

We can all move on to some things that do work if you use some of the skills you are acquiring in therapy to provide us with feedback.

3. “I’m Getting a Divorce; That’s It.”

Threats with no real meaning are useless in counseling (or in your marriage, for that matter). In actuality, they start to be discussed in therapy.

How do we know that this one has no purpose? Since you would be in a lawyer’s office instead of ours if you genuinely desired a divorce.

However, we can assist you in resolving this annoyance with your companion and developing stress endurance so you can have more fruitful conversations.

4. Lying & Giving Half-Truths

Lying or telling partial facts to your therapist only complicates the therapeutic process. If you aren’t being completely honest with yourself or a circumstance, your therapist most likely won’t notice.

Your therapist might inquire about some details since they might not add up or seem entirely accurate. This may cause anxiety and a fixation on maintaining the integrity of your narrative.

5. Absence of Crucial Information

Omitting crucial information in an attempt not to lie has similar effects as telling lies and half-truths. Sure, you aren’t lying to your therapist, but withholding some information could affect how they help you process the situation and the associated thoughts and emotions.

6. Testing Your Counselor

You shouldn’t see if your counselor makes all the connections based on your provided information. Your therapist will attempt to recall many of the specifics you’ve discussed in the early phases of therapy.

It is not because they aren’t attentive or don’t care if you have to explain something or remind them of someone in your life. Building confidence can be damaged by testing your therapist to see if they are paying attention.

7. Please Don’t Ask Them for Advice on What to Do

Therapy is a tool that gives you control over your thoughts and emotions to acquire understanding and improve your problem-solving abilities. Therapists are instructed not to counsel their patients to protect themselves from liability.

Furthermore, relying exclusively on your therapist’s counsel or suggestions raises the possibility of dependency on them and discourages independent thought.

8. Do you Understand What I Mean?

Assuming that your therapist understands “what you mean” or what you’re attempting to communicate can result in misunderstandings and poor communication.

Your psychiatrist frequently urges you to elaborate when you say something like this.

Although your therapist probably understands what you are trying to say, they will try to keep their emotions, thoughts, and opinions out of the conversation. They should push you to clarify because doing so is in your best interests.

9. Considering Therapy Won’t Help

Whether or not they have previously attempted therapy, it is common for people to worry that it won’t be effective for them. The only way to ensure progress is being made is to consistently react to your therapist’s criticism or suggestions without giving them an honest shot.

Even if you don’t think something is beneficial, your therapist wants to see you improve and make a genuine effort. You do have the option to alter or reject a particular therapy practice.

However, take into account what has been preventing you from attempting something in the first place before you do.

Additional Things to Avoid

Asking about private talks with other clients, displaying violent emotions, or making any suggestions of romantic or sexual interest in your therapist are other things to avoid doing during counseling sessions.

Keeping you secure and preserving your privacy is a therapist’s top priority. It is against the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) of 1996 to inquire about the specifics of other clients, even if that customer is someone you know.

When it comes to a therapeutic partnership, boundaries are crucial. Your therapist has the right to protect their welfare and that of their clients.

Your therapist has the right to send you to a higher level of care or stop providing therapeutic services if you threaten them or act violently, such as slamming doors, banging on tables, or yelling.

The same rules apply when hinting at or recommending any romantic or sexual activity. It is a severe breach of limits and might prevent your therapist from ever again working as a licensed professional.

It would help if you arrived at your session prepared to share your worries and be honest about your feelings and experiences, in addition to abstaining from saying things that are on the list of things not to speak to a therapist.

If there is something you don’t feel safe talking about, be honest rather than coming up with an explanation or a lie.
Being an active partner in therapy and being open and honest is crucial. To do this, complete the tasks your therapist gives you.

Although your therapist may have given you homework because they think it will advance your treatment, it may seem strange or annoying to you.


You might have been shocked to discover what you shouldn’t discuss with a therapist. This is not on the list of things you should never disclose to your psychiatrist, contrary to what you may have previously believed.

Instead, avoid telling falsehoods, talking negatively about other clients, and engaging in inappropriate conversation about things like how much you adore your therapist or despise those different from you.

Finally, be ready to integrate the lessons you’ve learned in therapy into your everyday existence. You may speak with your counselor at length, but you will only get very far if you change everything due to your therapy sessions.

Be receptive to your therapist’s suggestions and open to experimenting with different methods of thinking and acting based on what you’ve learned in therapy.

Ultimately, reaching your objectives will be easier if you are honest and open during therapy sessions and share as much as you feel comfortable doing. There isn’t much on the list of things not to share with a therapist about your personal life and experiences, as long as you are honest.

However, if you are interested in knowing more information concerning this, you can watch this video below.

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